Boys!

Hey loves!

So recently I met a boy and he seems to be fun, but once again I am getting scared because I feel like I am not a relationship type of person.



I feel that if I am going to be in a relationship I need to be overwhelmingly attracted and have an initial infatuation with the person, sort of like I did with my first boyfriend. But ever since that very first time when I got my heart broken I feel like I am not able to do that any more because I put up too many walls to make sure I don't get hurt. I almost feel heartless. I do want things with me and the new boy to work out but I'm not sure if I am capable of loving... which kills me because I DO want to. I feel like I am broken and that I will never be fixed.

In the past couple of boys I dated I had the same thing happen because after about a month I just don't have too many feelings about them anymore and feel like I can't be as open with them as I would like to be. It's like I start to build a wall once I meet them and when I am finally finished building it I stop seeing them. It's an odd metaphor but it's really how things tend to work. I just wish I wasn't so difficult and could understand myself!

Let me know what you think. I would LOVE some advice on this one because it is really bugging me.